Smile

April. Avril. Aprile.

It’s been a lovely 2-week break from blogging and the weekly night classes on Digital Comms at UofT. Actually, I kinda miss going to class. I had a great lecturer (Hi, Donna!) and classmates from diverse backgrounds who bring unique experiences to our class discussions.

So, blink of an eye, April’s coming to an end. It’s been an eventful month. Let’s see…

1. Survived the winter. #SomeSunFinally. Woohoo!

   

   Bonjour! Not quite April in Paris. But I’ll take ’em – the sun, coffee and canele.

2. I turned a year older. Boo! But also had the MOST AMAZING coconut cream pie from Scaramouche for my birthday. Yummm…

   

   Happy. Indeed.

3. Celebrated fifth wedding anniversary. Has it been 5 years??? Yay-zer Amay-zer!

   

   Cheesy, I know. But sweet. But cheesy. Sweet.

4. Revisited New York City after 2 decades. I wonder what took me so long. Still my bae.

   

   Never gets old. @empirestatebuilding @easter2017

5. Completed the digital communication course and received a decent grade with such encouraging comments for my virgin attempt of a blog, which I am so so so grateful for. Nice being a student again. Triple Yeahs!

6. Successfully baked a pandan cake, without it sinking like Titanic! (Pandan = Screwpine leaves, a popular flavour in South-east Asian cuisine. It’s green. It looks radioactive but smells and tastes so good. Pain in the a*s to get the cake right though.)

   

   It looks simple and harmless – 6 egg yolks, 9 egg whites and 55 freakin’ minutes later.

This has been an eventful month. Indeed. And to top it all off, the hubs and I went to check out the beautiful sakura at High Park. I have this thing with flowers. For a moment, soaking in the vibes there transported me back to my Tokyo trip 2 years ago. #IHeartJapan

Sakura in full bloom @highparktoronto

The month of April typically put me in a reflective mood. It’s Spring. It’s about renewal. I get older and wonder if I have lived a useful and fulfilled life. Wonder if I have accomplished what I set out to do.

Because my wedding anniversary also falls in April, I contemplate if I have been a good wife, if we have tackled (or averted) any crisis well, and take pride in my ability to annoy the hell out of him. 

For most parts, I am thankful for all the wonderful people, things and circumstances in my life. I try (and sometimes I fail) to take all experiences, even painful ones as positive learning points.

This year, I celebrate these moments with a new identity in a new city. I have been particularly pensive. There is a lingering tinge of what-ifs.

What if I did not come to Toronto? What if I return to my job in 14 months and decide that I do not want it anymore? What if I can’t keep up? What if I am no longer relevant? Self-doubt and negativity. Did I mention pessimism is my middle name?

But then I also snap out of it pretty quickly. Or at least my inner angel tends to put up a strong fight against the demon. Mostly 🙂

I have much to be grateful for. I am keenly aware.

Goodbye, April Lady. It’s been good to have you around. ~ “Smile” by QUEEN

TO. Rose-tinted.